Ernie, Attempted Murderer: The Frustration Within

I regret to say that the next adventure I will share about our friend Ernie the heavenly basset hound is very upsetting. It is a deep dark story that may reveal Ernie's true character (which we would perhaps rather ignore). Something very awful that he once did- or almost did- and would've most definitely done had it not been for my nimble mother. But before I tell you what he did (which is truly terrible), I think I must make you aware of the psychological climate in which Ernie most certainly was living when he did (or almost did) this awful thing. At least in that way, perhaps some mercy may be had upon his soft little brown head.

There are two things you must know about Ernie that will perhaps soften your judgement when I tell you this nearly tragic tale. The first is that Ernie cannot stand to be separated from those he loves by door, water, time or space. He cannot and will not tolerate closed doors, people in waters he cannot traverse, get-away weekends or the privacy of an afternoon spent alone. I believe the photograph will suffice to show you the extent of his desparation for companionship and the human touch.




Second, despite these propensities on Ernie's part for quiet love and comradery, my parents insist on taking him to the lake 5 times a year where rather than cause him separation anxieties of time and space, they cause him even more tauntingly poignant separation anxieties by water. PLUS he's a DOG for LORD'S SAKE and is not interested in the slightest, but made desperately sea sick by the rocking of the boat which is in no way alleviated by the blazing heat of the sun from which he cannot escape. If his flesh in this photo were visible under his fur, he would be positively green.

Now bearing all that in mind, I am not yet prepared to tell you exactly what my pooch is guilty of doing or almost doing. But I will say that both of the aforementioned frustrations were at a fever pitch in his little pup mind the day of the terrible thing. So now I will leave you with this information to settle a while before I tell you the dreadful thing that Ernie did (or almost did)- perhaps (or not at all) due (in part or completely) to these doggish frustrations. More to come.